Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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