Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
