I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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