I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Two words: blizzard sex
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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