You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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