Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
