dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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