I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
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im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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