everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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