I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
