I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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