Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
