Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
