Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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