I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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