that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you will always have a special place in my vag
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
