we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
