Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
