I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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