believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just pee around me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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