i need an iv and a liver transplant
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
