found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize