Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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