is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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