just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
