It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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