Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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