did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
