that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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