The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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