She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize