I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything