so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.