After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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