never play flip cup with pint glasses
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize