I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
bring money and cleavage
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
