Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
