holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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