i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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