either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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