i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
