In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
