Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
