I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
