Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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