I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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