dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
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You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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