; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
