The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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