no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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