i need an iv and a liver transplant
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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