meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
