brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
