dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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