I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
