Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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