I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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