Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize