Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
