I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I am one with the molecules
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
